I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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