god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the day after is always just damage control
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
