so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
