i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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