Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
