shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
