dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
