Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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