suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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