Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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