Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
