The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
