You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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