this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
