Your tits are I can't wait for
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
