Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
try to milk me bitch
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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