Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I think I am morally bankrupt
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
