WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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