now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
