the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
