new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
