I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Operation Purity has been aborted
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
How external is "for external use only"?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She needs sedatives and a leash
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
