On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
