i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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