apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
