we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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