the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
