and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
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