laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
