he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just had sex on a roof
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
