I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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