No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
