Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
