Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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