HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize