people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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