my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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