Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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