my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just invented taco cereal.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
