oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I cut my penus on the lid.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
