all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
