I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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