Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Randomize
