Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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