I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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