went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
