Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
