He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
