honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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