He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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