sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
