my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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