Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
