So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
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I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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