One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
