hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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