This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
