ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
