And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
