Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
