I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
