k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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