i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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