that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
