Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
